Young men, Peer Pressure and Phony Friendships (part 3)

The young man's name was Theolic Yung Manning. He had been out of high school for two years and was approaching his 20th birthday. He was of mixed ethnicity. He was part Black, part Asian, and part white. He felt comfortable with Mexicans from the neighborhood. He enjoyed their company very much. All of them were Roman Catholic. Theolic was not. He was invited to parties, infant baptisms, quinceaneras, dances and other festivities. He enjoyed most of them. At every single function there was beer. He did not like beer. Sometimes a beer was placed in his hand. He could not fake it, so he drank. He learned to like the beer. He learned to like the comraderie. He learned to like the environment. It was pleasurable for him. Theolic had other interests as well. He enjoyed playing sports. He enjoyed studying. Some of his friends enjoyed watching sports; but none enjoyed playing them. His friends liked to just "hang out" and talk about music, girls, and parties. Theolic worked part time as a gardener and went part time to a community college. Sometimes he really enjoyed his classes. Particularly an English composition class. He had turned in some fairly good work. He tried to study on weekends but the pursuit of pleasure overcame him. Too many weekends were spent with friends that he felt he "needed." Maybe they needed him. Maybe they needed someone else to drink and smoke weed with. He dropped out of school. Not one of his "friends" encouraged him to reenroll. One night he was driving home from a party. He was drunk. He ran a red light and a car hit him broadside on the driver's side. He was killed at the scene. Three out of eight "friends" went to his funeral.

Young Men, Peer Pressure and Phony Friendship (part 2)

He knows how to play poker but he does not really want to play poker tonight. His choices are connected to the demands of his friends. Heavy pressure accompanies the request (demand). Is he really his "own man" ? No. He is too young to be his "own man." However, he thinks he is. Staying home, and watching television with his parents is definitely not an option. It is Saturday night, and he is a young man. He goes ahead and plays poker. He loses $40.00. It is not a great deal of money, but it was all of the money that he had. But at least he didn't "bail on his friends." Of course, his "friends" did not offer to lend him any money for gas or spending. However, they did laugh at him and thanked him for supporting the game and providing money for movie tickets. The young man is broke, but at least he knows some people who want to "hang out" with him.

Young Men, Peer Pressure, and Phony Friendship (part 1)

Sometimes young men become friends because they have enough in common to cause an association. Occasionally, these so-called friendships are not really friendships; they are relationships that have evolved to combat boredom or loneliness. There are some young men who are really worried about their image, identity or manhood. Maybe they are athletic, maybe they are not. Maybe they are intelligent, maybe they are not. Some young men, due to lack of wisdom, moral parameters, or self-control; decide that it is essential to drink liquor, use drugs, gamble, have a sexual conquest, (to brag about) or do something dangerous or daring. Of course this can be commonplace for some young men; but not necessarily for all of them. One thing that a person can be fairly sure of: young men do not usually like to do those things alone. This is where peer pressure starts to show it's ugly face. This is when value systems begin to take a back seat to the demands of so-called friendship. This is when a young man who does not keep himself busy enough to the demands of something wholesome, yields to the demands of forces that can destroy him. (to be continued)