No Such Thing As An Addiction?

Recently somebody told me that there is no such thing as an addiction; there are only choices. It seems to make sense. Sure, its' a choice alright, but there is much more to it than that. Some people just seem to have a hard time with their choices. It comes down to this: the "choices" one makes; whether it is the
consumption of liquor, overeating, viewing of pornography, smoking tobacco or marijuana, and other drug use, sexual abnormalities (that may or may not clash with certain religious values and government statutes) are often times not considered the problem. Think about it. It is not the actual conduct of certain choices; it is the consequences of the choices. For example; is drinking liquor at the beach the real problem? No. The real problem was the littering, fights, disorderliness and crime. In reality; "littering" is an understatement. It is not the appropriate word. The more accurate description is "trash dumped all over the place." Thus a local statute was passed: no drinking at the beach. There are only 24 hours in one day. If the consequences and the habit itself are taking up excessive amounts of time which does not allow a person to do the things he/she must do to survive; then the person just needs to make different choices. The fun is not worth the "unfun."

The Great Leader

Who is that great leader? Where is he? Where is she? What is he like? What does she have? Where has he been? What has she done? Who have those leaders been with? What has that leader been exposed to? The people are looking for leaders. They are looking for a leader. Many questions with few answers. But I will try. The first thing I want to say is just because a person has a title does not mean that person is a leader, nor does that title necessarily mean that the person knows what he/she is doing. I am going to make it real simple. Being a leader means being 10 things.
(1) A leader needs to have courage, patience and enthusiasm. (2) A leader needs to love people. (3) A leader needs to be informed. (4) A leader needs to know his job. (5) A leader needs to keep up and be aware of changes. (6) A leader needs to have good communication skills.(7)A leader keeps on learning, studying, and researching.
(8) A leader needs to know how to listen. (9) A leader needs to be able to detect leadership in others, know how to use it,and not be threatened by it.(10)A leader needs to have integrity. This might be the most important one, because this is the one that creates respect. The leader must not be a liar, cheater, conniver, deceiver, or thief. This includes his private as well as his public life. Why? Because a great leader is not a hypocrite. I realize that these 10 points are standards. They may also be called ideals. Leaders will fall short. Circumstances may, at times, appear to present the need to violate one or more of the aforementioned. But leaders must not be controlled by their shortcomings or their excuses and defense mechanisms. They need to be guided by ethics that are also fueled by a desire to do things that create success.

An Open Letter To Michael Vick

Michael; I am glad the Philadelphia Eagles have signed you for one year. I am confident that you are capable of doing a great job. You are 29 years old and a 6 year veteran of the NFL. You are a gifted athlete. Sure; you messed up; but it is time to move on. Enough about your criminal record. Enough about your crimes. you did the crime; you served the time. Let us move on. I'll get right to the point. In order for you to succeed you must do 12 things. Here they are: (1) Never be late to practice. (2) Focus, concentrate on your job and responsibilities (3) Work extremely hard. (4) Learn as much as you can regarding your position. (5) Do not drink liquor. (6) Do not use drugs. (7) Stay away from bars, casinos, night clubs, and parties(man, you are not 19 years old!) (8) Carry no lethal weapons with you. (9) Obey your coach. (10) Obey the laws of the land. (11) Pray hard, read your Bible every day and worship God in a cell group or Church. (12) If you have a fiance. Get married as soon as possible, but be sure that the woman you marry is the one that Jesus has given you. Be sure to receive adequate pre-marital counseling from a qualified minister full of the Holy Ghost, knowledgeable of the Word of God and who knows what he is doing.
Ask God to protect you from accidents and injuries. Ask him to help you to do your very best every time you step on that field for an athletic contest. Have a great time and God bless you. Please remember: your talent is a gift from God, and your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. What you do with it; is your gift back to him.
Do it His way. You have already tried the other way.

He Said: "I Was Too Nervous"

This is a story about an 8th. grade boy I once knew. He liked a girl. He tried to time it perfectly so he could see her every day walking to one of her classes at school. She was so pretty, she made him nervous. One day she smiled at him. This really made his day. He kept walking by her every day. He was really, really moved by her. This went on for weeks. One day he said hello. She returned the hello. He was fascinated that she actually greeted him. He was planning his next step. He actually wanted to have a conversation with her. He was not sure how he was going to go about it. But he was determined to talk to her. Then something tragic happened. She became the unintended victim of a drive-by shooting. She was shot in the head and she died shortly thereafter. I attended the funeral. Needless to say it was a very sad event. A few days passed, and the 8th. grade boy took me aside and told me about his attraction to the girl. I don't remember much about the conversation; but I remember he was hurting inside. I do remember these words for sure: "Mr. D, I was too nervous to tell her. If I ever like a girl again; I'm going to be sure to tell her."

Little Gangster (Part 7) Jet Meets Leti

It was 1973. His name was Jet. He acquired that name as a result of his exploits in the parks and playgrounds of East Los Angeles. He was a very fast runner. In high school he was a track and football star. He did not have a dad, but he was real close to his mother. She was very proud of him but didn't really encourage him to go to college. He was offered scholarships to college but after high school graduation he chose to go to a community college close to his house. He had a good year in both football and track. Jet was very popular. The school he attended was proud of him and offered him a full-time job in the athletic department, even though he had no degree. He accepted it and he liked it very much. He worked full-time and was enrolled as a part-time student. He bought himself a brand new Chevy Monte Carlo, just before his 23rd birthday. He had a girlfriend from Santa Monica who was the daughter of an accountant. He had met her after a track meet that was held at UCLA. Her name was Tiffany. Tiffany's family was a very devout Catholic family. Jet was also Catholic but he never attended Church. He loved Tiffany. He respected her. Occasionally they went out on a date, but usually he just visited her at her house while her parents were there, they really liked Jet. She was a senior at UCLA, and very busy. Jet liked to work out. He stayed in shape. Sometimes he worked out at school, sometimes he ran in the neighborhood. One day he was running in his neighborhood. He kept running and running. He actually left his neighborhood and ventured into another neighborhood. He found himself in the middle of the projects. Somebody recognized him. She was an admirer. She yelled: "Hey big guy, when are you taking me for a ride in your new Chevy?" He stopped and looked to see who it was. There she was; standing in front of the projects where she lived. The most beautiful chola he had ever seen. She was wearing a pink spaghetti-strap shirt, that exposed her belly-button, white shorts, big gold hoop earrings, gold sandals and not too much makeup on her olive complexion. She had long, black, curly hair, and hazel eyes. Self-assured, he strutted over to where she was. "Hi, whats' your name?" He asked. Leti. Que Barrio?" "City Terrace." He responded. "Aren't you a little far from home?" "Yeah, just a little. Wanna run back with me? Or will your boyfriend get mad?" "My boyfriend is locked up. He's in San Quentin, he's a gangster, and he ain't getting out for a while. And no, I don't wanna run anywhere. I don't like to run, I don't like to get all sweaty unless I'm dancing. Do you like to dance?" "A little bit. Wanna walk a few blocks with me?" "Sure," she said. They walked toward City Terrace for about 5 blocks. Then they stopped. There was still a long way to go, and Jet had to get the rest of his run finished. Leti had told Jet that she lived with her older sister, Lupe. Lupe had two small children. Leti also had a child. He was 4years old. He stayed with her boyfriend's mom. Leti was 21 years old. She liked to party. He got her phone number. In those days there were no cell phones. Jet asked if he could come by the next night. She said of course. The "of course" got to him. He liked Leti. He ran home pretty fast; thinking about her all the way home. He knew he had a girlfriend; but that didn't seem to matter. Jet called Leti later that night. They talked on the phone for about an hour. Later he called Tiffany. They talked on the phone for about ten minutes.

John Basilone

His name was John Basilone. He was one of 10 children, the son of an Italian tailor. He was from Raritan New Jersey. He was a Marine during World War II. He loved the Marine Corps. He was a "Marine's Marine". During a long night in the month of October, 1942, Basilone found himself in the heat of combat against a determined and overwhelming force of Japanese. He was on Guadalcanal. He was attempting to preserve a thin Marine-and-Army defense line around Henderson Field. A wave of Japanese soldiers knocked out the machine guns on his left. Basilone lifted a machine gun and its tripod, consisting of 90 pounds of weaponry.He raced 200 yards to the silenced gun pit and started firing. Japanese bodies began stacking up in front of the emplacement. Enemy soldiers attacked his rear. He cut them down with his pistol. He fought til dawn.* Over 38 bodies of the enemy lay dead. Gunnery Sgt. John Basilone came home with the Congressional Medal of Honor.
If you ever travel in Southern California; there is an area between Orange and San Diego Counties. Just North of Camp Pendleton, on Freeway 5, there is a stretch of road. It is called Basilone Road. It is named in honor of this Marine hero who fired his weapon until heat blistered his hands, and he kept shooting.

*An excerpt from "The Marine who went back"(12/10/90: US NEWS & WORLD REPORT)

So Who Takes Out The Trash?

I think most of us have been in this situation. You have roommates who like to leave messes. So who cleans the mess? At work, a trash can is brimming with trash. Who empties it? Who drinks coffee? Who makes the coffee? Who cleans the coffee area? The employee's lounge is a mess. Cutbacks have eliminated the custodian's job. Who cleans the lounge? Ideally, everyone pitches in. What if someone in the office is highly educated? "I didn't get my Master's to be someone's maid." Does cooperation mean anything? Does fairness mean anything? "Yes, I believe in fairness but I don't want to get my hands dirty." Basically there are 5 options:
(1) take turns (2) set up a system/protocol, and guide yourself by it. (3) let the same person do it all the time. "He likes to do it anyway." (4) pay someone to do it.
(5) let the mess remain.(this, however, may not be considered an option) Communicate with one another. Work it out. Let me make a point. Have you ever visited a convalescent home? People are hired to do things for others who cannot do those tasks for themselves. Basically; when something needs to be done; and one can't or won't do it himself; then one usually pays someone else to do it.