Do It For Others

Preserving one's image is not as important as being genuine. Looking "cool" and sophisticated is not as important as being considerate of others. Showing one's cleverness and sophistry (certainly not intellect) by verbally abusing others is not a sign that one is a great thinker and owns a great mind. We can be genuinely interested in others. This is important. If it is not important, then, what is? Appearing a certain way? Being a phony? Being a "private person," yet yearning for the warmth of friendship? This may cause a person to be shallow and keep too much in "reserve," and therefore be an extremely boring person to be with. Do something for others. Don't just think of yourself. "My money, my time, my trips, my vacations, my fun, my pleasures, my experiences, my accomplishments!" "My accomplishments"? Unfortunately, sometimes nobody cares. Why does nobody care? Why should they care if there is no relationship? Relationships are nurtured. Friendships are nurtured. Friendships do not just happen just because we want them to be there. They do not just happen because one is so arrogant that he/she feels "it is an honor to know me because I am so special." I have observed that sometimes people get angry because they do not have the friendship they crave. What do they do about it? They verbally abuse. They get extremely jealous and call certain people hypocrites. Hypocrites? No, they just have friends. They give and get benefits from relationships. On the other hand, the braggart without friends wants to let everyone know what he did. He wants to brag, but he has nobody to brag to. Why? Because he has no friends. He has not taken the time to nurture friendships. Do it for others and benefit yourself. Sound selfish? It is not. That is just the way it is. Does a mother take care of her infant to benefit her baby or to benefit herself? If it is a joy for her, is she being selfish?