Friends, Relationships and Identity (pt.1)

Everyone needs friends. If friendship is not available, one turns to family or social groups. One turns to activities, hobbies, pastimes, religion, politics, clubs, sports or gangs. One becomes a participant or observer. One meets people, and perhaps makes friends. Acquaintances and friends inhibit or influence our thoughts, words, actions and attitudes. Friends help us determine who we are. They give us feedback. They identify with us, and we with them. They also help us identify who we are not. One's identity is important. What defines it? Citizenship, gender, age, race/ethnicity, class, education, wealth and income, political party, religion (or lack thereof) tastes, profession, and how one spends his/her time. How one spends his time can easily explain his identity. Has anyone ever told you that he/she has a problem with relationships. Nobody has ever told me of a problem he/ she had with relationships in general. It has not been necessary. Their lives have revealed it. I think some people would like to be hermits but they do not want to deal with the stigma of possibly being labeled a "loser." Perhaps they associate being a hermit not necessarily with being a "private person," but with homelessness and being labeled as excessively weird. (to be continued)